Winters are long, dark, and cold. It’s natural to want to bundle up in a blanket, light a few candles, and cuddle with your partner until spring comes back around.
However, with love day just around the corner, you might want to dig yourself out of the blanket mountain and experiment with new ways to spice up your sex life.
After all, long and cold evenings have their advantages – when you don’t want to step foot outside, you and your partner have a lot of time on your hands to have some sexy fun together.
So, if you’re in the mood to heat things up in the bedroom, we have 28 ideas to inspire you!
1. Make a Fantasy Yes/No/Maybe List
It is very normal to have sexual fantasies. You have them, and your partner has them, even if you don’t share them with each other. A “fantasy yes/no/maybe” list is a great way to start sharing your sexual fantasies with your partner if you’re unsure how to start a conversation.
So, you can do it digitally or the old-school way with pen and paper. You write down your list, while your partner writes down theirs. And when you’re ready, either swap your lists or share the items on your list out loud.
Fantasies that match are a good place to start when you want to spice up your sex life!
2. Give Them a Tantric Massage
The love day is all about showing your appreciation and love for your partner. Giving them a sensual massage is one way to show it, which is especially great if your partner’s love language is physical touch or acts of service.
3. Wear a Blindfold
Taking one of your senses away can enhance the pleasure during sex. And wearing a blindfold is one of the sexiest and easiest ways to do just that.
If you don’t have an actual blindfold, don’t sweat it! The next time you have sex, use an item like a soft t-shirt, a tie, or a scarf to blindfold your partner. Make sure to check in with your partner if they feel comfortable throughout the experience and have fun!
4. Masturbate in the Shower
Yeah, having shower sex is great and all, but have you ever tried masturbating with your partner in the shower? If the answer is no, then it should definitely be on your to-do list!
You can masturbate in front of your partner while they watch. Use a showerhead or your favorite toys to masturbate and put on a show. Or, you can try mutual masturbation, where you touch your partner and they touch you. Either way is sexy!
5. Buy a Sex Toy Together
Whether you are a sex toy novice, or a seasoned user, buying a new sex toy is always an exciting experience. And doing it together with your partner can add an extra layer to it.
Make it a fun experience by making dinner, lighting some candles to set the mood, and do some online sex toy shopping together. TIANI Duo is a great couples’ massager to add to your sex toy collection to enhance mutual pleasure.
6. Cook Breakfast Together Naked
No better way to start a weekend than by cooking a delicious breakfast together, completely naked! It can be a fun and sexy way to take something mundane as cooking together to the next level. Bonus points if you have matching aprons you can wear while cooking.
7. Play Strip Poker
Make your next date night at home more fun by playing a card game together, where the loser gets to lose their clothes. It can be a competitive and fun activity to do together. And once the clothing is off, things will definitely become more heated.
8. Pick 5 Sex Positions To Try
Having a few sex positions you love and have sex in on a regular basis is great. But when you want to spice up your sex life, the easiest way to do it is by trying a new position.
So, together with your partner, pick five sex positions you both would be interested to try. Now that you have the list and know which sex positions to try, you can easily try them the next time you have sex.
9. Create a Sex Playlist
If you don’t yet have a sex playlist with your partner, then you’re seriously missing out! Having a list of sexy songs to listen to when you want to get in the mood, or while you both are doing the deed is hot. And the experience of creating a playlist together can be deeply intimate and bonding.
10. Make a Sex Painting
If you’re not afraid to get down and dirty, then making a sex painting with your partner should be on your to-do list for the love month. You don’t have to be creative or artistic, and all you need are a few tools to get started.
Making a sex painting together can help you and your partner show appreciation for each other’s bodies. And you’ll have a painting hanging on the wall that will always remind you of how sexy the process of creating it was!
11. Watch Ethical Porn Together
Watching porn is usually considered a solo activity. But you can definitely watch it together with your partner to get inspired or simply turned on. So, pick a porn movie you both enjoy (always choose ethical porn) and watch it together.
You can try to turn it into a game of not touching each other while watching to see who gives in first. Or, you turn porn watching into an interactive experience, where you recreate favorite parts of what you have seen.
12. Create a Sex Menu
Just as you have a menu of your favorite recipes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you should also have one for your favorite sex activities. So, create your sex menu by choosing your favorite activities for “appetizer,” “main course,” and “dessert.”
The next time you have sex with your partner, you both read each other’s menus and decide what three-course meal you’re having for dinner.
13. Try Sensory Play
Learning to connect with different sensations in your body is a great way to improve the way you experience sexual pleasure. You can explore sensory play by using various tools to stimulate your or your partner’s body.
For example, use an ice cube on your partner’s secondary and primary erogenous zones. Or, you might use things like a pinwheel or a feather to add different textures and sensations.
However, to try sensory play you don’t need fancy tools. You can start exploring with your hands and mouth alone, trying out different ways of touching your partner in different locations of their body.
14. Take Nudes Together
Taking nudes with your partner is hot! You can take naked pictures of each other, or take pictures together. Make it fun and sexy, try different outfits, lingerie, locations, and angles.
15. Make a Sex Tape
If you are feeling brave, then consider making a sex tape with your partner. It can be very arousing to watch you and your partner have sex, whether it would be in the mirror or through a video.
Just make sure your partner is on board with the idea – always get their consent before filming! And use all the safety precautions to store the video privately.
16. Try Edging
Edging is an act of delaying the sexual release. It’s a practice that has tons of benefits, but most importantly, it can enhance the way the orgasm feels when you finally get the release.
If you want to spice things up in the bedroom, try edging your partner or ask them to edge you. Use your hands, toys, mouth, and other methods to bring your partner close to the edge, and then stop the stimulation. Once your partner recovers, start again. Repeat as many times as your heart desires.
17. Play With CBD Lube
Adding lube during sex is one of the easiest ways to make things feel so much better. It improves the sensations and makes things glide better. But a lube with CBD has added benefits.
CBD lubes help improve the blood flow to the genitals, which means all the stimulation will feel much more intense. And, if you experience pain during intercourse or struggle to relax, CBD lube can help relax the muscles, making the experience more enjoyable.
18. Send Flirty Texts
Show your partner love and appreciation by sending them sexy texts! And we’re not talking about a simple “I love you.” Tell your partner how sexy they are, how much you miss them, and how you can’t wait to see them again. Take it a step further and tell them exactly what you want to do to them the next time you meet and let the tension between you two build.
19. Write Each Other Love Letters
Write your partner a love letter. There is no better time than a love month to do that! You can write one letter and post it. Or, you can write a bunch of little letters telling your partner what you love about them and then share those letters with them throughout the month.
20. Take a Love Language Test
If you haven’t already done Gary Chapman’s Love Language test, then you definitely want to do it! You can take it together with your partner, it takes only ten minutes and by the end, you’ll both be able to find out your love languages and what that means.
21. Make a Sex Bucket List
Why not make a sex bucket list you and your partner want to try together someday? You already shared your fantasies, have a sex menu, and know what sex positions you want to try. Well, combine all of those things together and make a list of all the things (unrealistic and realistic) you both want to experience sexually.
22. Listen to Audio Erotica
Listen to audio erotica together. While you can say that audio erotica is a type of porn, it can offer a very different sensory experience.
Instead of being visually stimulated, you get to listen and use your imagination to imagine the sexual acts described. It can be a very different experience from what you’re used to when it comes to consuming erotic content, and definitely worth a try!
23. Try Virtual Sex
Spice things up in bed by having virtual sex. Virtual sex can be either phone sex or video sex, you choose which one you prefer. Go to separate rooms to create a sense of distance and have fun by having sex without being in the same room. Definitely a new experience!
24. Eat Sex Gummies and See What Happens
Have you ever heard of Horny Goat Weed? Well, it’s an aphrodisiac that is known to make you horny, so why not try eating some sex gummies with your partner and see what happens?
25. Have a Long Make-Out Session
Sometimes we take kissing for granted. We either do it as a formality or a way to initiate sex. But kissing and making out can be a fantastic way to simply connect with your partner with no pressure to take things further.
So, spend some time simply enjoying your partner by making out with them with clothes on. Feel each other, focus on the sensations at the moment and enjoy simple pleasures.
26. Masturbate Together
Partnered masturbation is a way to spice things up in bed when you want something new, but don’t want to go out of your way for it. Touch yourself in front of your partner, watch them watch you, and watch them touch themselves. Even without touching each other, it can be a very intimate and bonding experience.
27. Fancy a Little Bit of Exhibitionism?
Do you enjoy PDA? Well, then chances are that you have an exhibitionism kink! When you’re out and about with your partner, either grocery shopping or having dinner at a restaurant, engage in some risky behavior like touching each other, kissing, or not wearing underwear.
If you don’t want to leave your home, no worries! You can try things like having sex in the balcony or by the window and opening a window when having sex to still get that rush.
28. Don’t Have Sex
Sometimes not having sex can lead to having the best sex of your life. Want to know how? Well, don’t just abstain from sex with your partner. Agree to not touch each other or initiate sex for a day, two, or a week. But in the meantime, do everything you can to seduce your partner.
You can do things like wear sexy lingerie around the house, or wear none at all and make sure your partner knows about it. Or, touch yourself in front of them (without finishing – no breaking rules here!), have a shower together, or give them a massage.
In short, the goal here is to do all the fun, seductive activities together, without going all the way to build tension and anticipation. Think of it as edging outside sex. Definitely worth a try!