5 sex-ed topics to discuss with kids

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Huge Barbie doll superimposed into New York skyscrapers

“I have never known Barbie without knowing the argument against Barbie”

– director Greta Gerwig, age 39

Barbie is a game changer. It’s girl positive, female driven. A sociological phenomenon that’s ignited criticism, backlash, celebration and an appetite for debating gender expectations.

Barbie is a surprisingly emotional rollercoaster. The first time we saw this bubblegum-pink fever dream of a blockbuster it felt fun and incisive but a bit simplistic and uneven. Still, it was poignant thinking about our own relationships with dolls and toys, our daughters at a young age and how complicated it can be connecting with them. Hearing the line “Men rule the world” made us sad for our girls – and our boys. But it really got us laughing, exhilarated by the unabashed use of hot pink and thrilled to be in on this zeitgeist-defining moment.

The second time we saw Barbie, we appreciated every minute – we felt right at home being back in the static neon-pink escapism and revelled even more in some of the songs and dances, the comic timing and cultural commentary.

What really resonates is the male angle. While Stereotypical Barbie (Margot Robbie) is assured, glowing and cheerily likable, Ryan Gosling is endearing as decorative-not-functional Ken. He postures, strives, falls apart. His asserting his own identity mirrors what women often go through in propping up and being defined by men. He reflects how boys have to work out which aspects of masculinity, with all its strengths and weaknesses, they call their own.

We should all see Greta Gerwig’s film – boys and men too. (Anecdotally, lots of them like it.)

But why watch Barbie?

See it to be in on this female-affirming moment that is significant beyond the big screen. This is “a movement, a revolution,” wrote Polly Hudson in The Mirror. “The film should be part of the national curriculum. And for parents unsure how to steer their kids against misogyny in a non-preachy way they’ll understand, Barbie is the answer.”

See it to be inspired to “unpack the ways Barbie made us see the world and how our ideas have changed and understand more about who we were”. As always, reflecting on how our own sex & relationships experiences shaped us is a big part of being there for our kids by talking openly about sex-education topics at home.

See Barbie with (or without) your girl or boy because the sex and relationships themes that jump out at you are good conversation starters.

Here are 5 sex-ed related topics inspired by Barbie that you can tap into…

Instagram post of America Ferrera in a tight evening gown with the caption "Barbie was blonde and blue eyed and perfect. She probably made me feel bad about myself"

BODY IMAGE Generations of mums didn’t want their girls to compare themselves to the impossible beauty standards embodied in the tall, thin blonde doll who wouldn’t be able to stand if she were real. It’s striking how, universally, some kids took out their aggressions – maybe over Barbie’s unattainable physique or inflexible body; maybe because of internalised misogyny – on their dolls, disfiguring them into a version of a chop-haired, scribbled-on, doing-the-splits Weird Barbie. But yes: use Barbie as a way to “talk and teach body image”

OBJECTIFICATION It’s refreshing to see the script flipped, with men caricaturing sex appeal and – so rare – vying for the female gaze. And in a brilliant role reversal of women finding purpose through their relationship, it’s exhilarating to see the man as marginalised, an accessory, a support act, eye candy. Ken is happy to be along for the ride, a toy boy without a job (it’s just “beach”) or an identity (beyond craving Barbie’s attention). He takes on “softboy tendencies: mansplaining, faux sensitivity and hipster posturing”. What’s touching is his “unstoppable Kenergy” identity crisis, his insecurities and his voyage of self-discovery. In our male-dominated world – with man box rules for boys around power, anger, stoicism and vulnerability – don’t all boys have to wrestle with how they come up against masculinity, patriarchy and issues like: “Who am I? What do I like? Why do I like this?”

Photo of 9 diverse Barbies such as a Black doll in a wheelchair, a curvy Black doll, an Asian doll, a male doll with vitiligo

REPRESENTATION Many mothers, Gerwig’s included, rebelled against their kids buying into the vacuous smile-look-sexy-and-shop aspirations Barbie can project (“Math class is tough,” said Teen Talk Barbie in 1992; “Don’t eat” advised Slumber Party Barbie’s 1965 diet book). But Barbie can unlock the potential for imaginative play through 200+ career choices (there was an astronaut Barbie in 1965 though real American women couldn’t own a credit card until 1974). Just as Barbie is no longer “mostly presenting as” blonde now that the doll has been evolved to showcase various ethnicities, hair types, body shapes and abilities, the film includes diverse Barbies and Kens. But despite its camp aesthetics and equal-opportunity Barbiecore attire, LGBT+ moments and characters are disappointingly downplayed

FEMALE FOCUS Produced and spearheaded by Margot Robbie, Barbie was directed, co-written and executive-produced by Oscar-nominated Greta Gerwig, director of Lady Bird and Little Women, about which Meryl Streep, in a fantastic oxymoron, commented: “It’s epic personal filmmaking.” Will Barbie’s box office record-breaking spur Hollywood to bank on how “women want to see themselves on screen and femininity depicted with admiration, celebration and seriousness”? Let’s talk with all of our kids about how important this moment is: a film is validating women onscreen and behind the scenes; it has unleashed, on a wide audience, ideas on how patriarchy affects both men and women, and it’s getting us talking…

Instagram post of 7 Barbie dolls with the caption "The Barbie movie is candy with a little poison"

THINK OUTSIDE THE BOX Barbie – in sending up the problematic, complicated-icon dolls along with hyper-femininity, misogyny, toxic masculinity, mansplaining, sexism, the girlboss, the toy boy and more – gets us questioning our culture. What have you been conditioned to feel about pink – and do you police how much pink you or your children wear? Would you buy a boy a Barbie or Ken? What are the pros and cons about playing with these dolls? What are the positives of being judged by, and basing your self-worth on, your looks? What has this film tapped into – and why is it moving so many people? It’s always important for us as parents to encourage critical thinking in our kids so they can decode society’s messages and values around sex & relationships issues – and Barbie is galvanising the world into reacting!

“I thought I was Team #Oppenheimer but I love how #Barbie with its themes touching on existentialism, feminism, empowerment, mind control & misuse of corporate power has pissed off the right people” – tweet by former crown prosector Nazir Afzal, age 60

From No, The Barbie Movie Is Not Anti-Men (The Gamer, 24/7/23) on Barbie & Oppenheimer opening the same day “There’s one movie in theatres right now about the violence of being alive, the control we each hold over each other, the dangers of unchecked power and the cruelty of those who sit in judgement over the rest of society. The other one is Oppenheimer”